ah, metaphor

I must applaud New York Times writer Rick Lyman, whose use of metaphor in his recent article on corporal punishment borders on the transcendent. Or at least, I could never write such a thing as this (emphasis mine):

“Tina Morgan, who works on a highway crew in rural North Carolina, gave permission for her son to be paddled in his North Carolina middle school. But she said she was unprepared for Travis, now 12, to come home with a backside that was a florid kaleidoscope of plums and lemons and blood oranges.”

Bravo, Mr. Lyman, for your assurèd command of the intricacies of our language. You have inspired me, sir.

–D. S. W.

review: extras – series two, episode three

At one end of the spectrum we have Ari Gold, Entourage’s devilishly clever and brazenly outspoken agent whom everyone loves to hate. And at some incalculably immense distance from Mr. Gold sits Extras‘ Darren Lamb, the designated representative for struggling sell-out sitcom “star” (hurrah for alliteration) Andy Millman, whose idea of a party trick is tapping out “59009″ on a calculator and thrusting it, inverted, into the face of anyone nearby. (I’ll pause here to allow you to try this for yourself.) Him we just hate: no love involved.

This week, Darren pokes fun–malicious, discriminatory fun, that is–at a midget on the set of Andy’s latest project. Andy is not amused. Neither is said midget’s fiancée (a woman of normal height). Add in the guest appearance of Harry Potter’s Daniel Radcliffe and Ashley Jensen’s outrageously backward conversational skills, mix well and serve cold. Et voila!–you have an acutely uncomfortable thirty minutes of comedy guaranteed to divert, if not to enthrall.

Yes, this third episode of the second series is largely business as usual for Extras, backing off quite a lot from last week’s installment, which teetered uneasily, though captivatingly so, on the edge of darkness. It is less satisfying, though, since the disparate elements never manage to coalesce into a coherent statement about Andy’s life; nor do they advance the running plot in a meaningful way. Instead, we’re treated to the one-joke persona of young Mr. Radcliffe, playing a sex-obsessed, hopelessly juvenile version of himself whose lame come-ons to those of the female persuasion are (as they say) rude, crude, and socially unacceptable: they border on the unbelievable, even. It’s mostly good fun, though, particularly his cringe-inducing lines with Dame Diana Rigg which alone are worth a viewing (“Have you still got that catsuit from The Avengers?” he asks).

There’s also a bit of satire revolving around the celebrity gossip industry as Andy and Darren–yes, Darren Lamb, the agent from hell–try (and fail, spectacularly) to manage the aftermath of a particularly egregious faux pas involving a run-in with a Down Syndrome–or “mentally deranged” in Lambspeak–boy at a “posh” local bistro. As Darren stammers on Richard & Judy, “I defy anyone to be able to identify from behind, you know, one of these Mongoloids.” Cue awkward silence (Andy’s). Now cue fits of laughter (mine).

So you see, Gervais in less than top form is miles still manages to deliver amusement of a much higher order than virtually any other comedy on television, particularly here in the States. The finale, featuring Darren’s effortlessly idiotic chat with Andy about their climactic confrontation with that troublesome midget, is predictably morose and chuckle-inducing, perfectly definitive of the pair’s, uh, interesting relationship. And yet it lacks…well, something that made Extras such a huge hit to begin with; perhaps some aspect of the humanity of these characters dribbled out Gervais’ ear after one too many hours in the editing bay. But at least we get to see the nifty title sequence for Andy’s sitcom, right?

Next Week: Coldplay’s Chris Martin, or “let’s watch Andy insult a world-famous rocker” (unintentionally, of course).

–D. S. W.

tea & twinkies

An otherwise lackluster Daily Show episode on Tuesday was made remarkable by the guest appearance of Pervez Musharraf, President of Pakistan. Really. Stewart knew just how to make him feel “welcome,” offering him the customary Pakistani greeting of jasmine tea and, as a special treat, that greatest of American delicacies, the Twinkie. This was all in the first few moments of the interview, before Stewart blurted out “Where’s Osama bin Laden?!” like some crazed gonzo journalist.

Things settled down quite a bit after that, with questions (and thoughtful responses) on issues like the U.S.-Pakistan relations, conflict with the Taliban regime and the lingering presence of al Qaeda, and the difficulties of governing in a tense international climate. In short, it was everything I have come to expect from the “new” Daily Show, and by new I mean “since the show’s revamp/studio change”: pointed humor, both high- and low-brow, and serious, probing political discussion from a consummately entertaining and quick-witted host.

Still with me? Good. As your reward, enjoy the full interview video below, courtesy of YouTube.

–D. S. W.

“their tailor is in witness protection”

From the bowels of StyleForum.net comes a thread of unspeakably ridiculous titling, centered around the above picture. Haha.

–D. S. W.

zune at $250; quaking in cupertino

Well, not really. But Reuters is reporting that Microsoft has elected to reduce its asking price for the Zune to $250 in an effort to compete more directly with the iPod. As a result, the company will be selling the players at a loss, though we can hope that executive Scott Erickson’s insistence that the platform is “a multi-year strategy” means that somehow, some day, all those sweaty engineers in Redmond will see their tireless efforts pay off–literally, that is.

The $0.99 songs from the “Zune Marketplace” (how catchy) surely won’t bring in much cash either, considering the well-known tiny profit margins for the iTunes Store. Now, this doesn’t necessarily spell doom for the whole Zune project assuming those new-fangled file-sharing features work as advertised and can actually stimulate the interest of your average 18-24-year-old consumer, and that that consumer can tear himself away from iPod/iTunes ecosystem and its attendant attractions (beauty, elegance, Jobsian mystique et al.–Zune isn’t big in those areas).

But this is Microsoft: if they can’t do it, who can?

Update: Amazon has made the Zune available for pre-order at $249.99 for each of the three color choices (brown, white, and black) and has also put up pages for several accessory gizmos designed to make your Zune more…Zuneriffic.  You’ll find all of that here.
–D. S. W.

more phoenix photos (!)

ComingSoon.net has acquired a set of high-resolution photos from the upcoming film Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix, the fifth of a planned seven, due to be released next July. You’ll find resized versions of my favorites above, and I dare say they look rather smashing.

–D. S. W.

little man, what now: a blog of some cleverness

Despite the incoherence of the title, I hope you have gathered at least that this posting has something to do with a blog, in particular one by the name of “Little man, what now.” I came across LMWN (as I shall call it) quite recently in a Google search for reviews of the second series of Ricky Gervais’ show Extras (see theirs here, and mine here) and, it being the only other review I could find, spent a few minutes reading it and several of their other postings.

In short, it’s delightful: funny, British (aren’t those two terms synonymous?), and written with equal measures of clarity and intelligence. Maintained by a gentleman named Charles Pooter (a fantastic name), LMWN’s focus is spread across a wide range of areas, not unlike mr_wizard, including pieces on British television, politics, technology, the aforementioned Extras reviews, and a smattering of other semi-newsworthy–and certainly blogworthy–topics.

Mildly pretentious (that’s a compliment, coming from me) and full of high-(and low-) brow humor, LMWN is a blog that I can certainly learn something from, especially when it comes to making mr_wizard more…mr_wizard-like. And by that I mean more like LMWN.

So, read it and be enlightened. I certainly am.

Update: It has been brought to my attention that LMWN was actually started by Messrs. Hoffman, Corrigan, and Oates, though Mr. Pooter has been, as he says, “posting a lot of random nonsense recently.” I hope that clears a few things up.

–D. S. W.

on education

College should be about learning, right? About meeting new people, experiencing a different place, and about developing as a person? It is, and so why is it that just this evening I was struck by a sudden, irrational fear that somehow things wouldn’t work out for me after graduation, that no graduate schools would be interested in a person of my particular talents, and that I would at some vague future time be alone, penniless, and without prospects.

It’s silly, of course; there really is nothing to worry about. But why would I think of such a thing in the first place, putting aside the universal tendency for self-doubt at certain times? The answer was not immediately obvious at the time, but thinking on it now it seems that grades may be the object of my fear, the ever-present threat of a not-quite-adequate transcript that some admissions officer will, someday, skim over and summarily dismiss, my life along with it.

Grades are helpful, certainly, for evaluating one’s standing and grasp of the material relative to other students, but they also create an acute awareness of one’s own failings (or, at least, of one’s weaknesses). There are always better, smarter, and quicker students in a given subject, and, combined with the impossibility of being “the best” in everything, the competition can grow fierce enough and stressful enough to generate significant doubts and feelings of inadequacy, even at the best of times (academically speaking).

But like I said, it’s silly to worry about it. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself:“You’re at an Ivy League school, darnit, and you have as much to offer as anyone!” I think. A few rounds of that, and everything is fine. At least I hope it is.

–D. S. W.

apple’s photokina event

So this is a bit late. For that I apologize, but you certainly didn’t miss much in the interim. Today’s media event at photokina saw the release of exactly one thing: Aperture 1.5. Read all about it here, and don’t ask me ever again about when Core 2 MacBook Pros are coming. And I mean ever. It could be tomorrow (Tuesday) or it could be next year: I really have no idea, and neither does anyone else.

–D. S. W.

first harry potter 5 photo

Actually, there are three that Scottish newspaper The Scotsman will be printing tomorrow (a few hours from now, that is), but the above is the only one available online as of this writing. Isn’t it exciting, even at this low resolution?! You can see the accompanying article here, and do contain yourselves, all right?

–D. S. W.